GRE ESSAY REPORT

Sample Essay Score Report. Essays are read and analyzed by a trained reader, who provides detailed feedback in response to essay style, organization, content, focus, length, as well as grammar and correct English usage.
Test 1 Essay Analysis
Score: 5.0
Essay Components
Issue Essay
Argument Essay
Developed Ideas
Good
Poor
Sentence Variety
Excellent
Excellent
Focus & Direction
Good
Good
Length
Excellent
Excellent
Adequate Examples
Good
Good
Grammar
Excellent
Excellent
Organization
Excellent
Good
Reader Feedback
Issue Essay
Argument Essay
Key Points
1.
Several examples are given, which is great, but it is generally believed to be much more efficient to provide two or three examples or arguments and then to greatly expand on those arguments and their implications. Each paragraph should have one main idea, but here in this essay several of the paragraphs have many smaller ideas.
2.
There is no one single hypothesis given. In the first paragraph, you should include your one main argument, and then use the body paragraphs to write about examples that help support your argument.
3.
In the closing paragraph, you should restate your initial hypothesis and conclude with a brief summary. By that time, if you have written several well-organized body paragraphs, then your reader should be convinced of your argument.
1.
Your have several small valid arguments, and you very strongly claim that you do not agree with the proposed plan in the Brookville community, but there is not a single statement that decisevly states that you disagree with the proposal. It would be most efficient if you had written, for example, 'The proposed plan is lacking in logic because if the plan were enacted, all of the homes would be mandated to look the same and there would be no sense of individuality in the community.'
2.
Try to refrain from using common, matter-of-fact language. For example, you write, 'I mean this not in monetary terms but ...'. Never begin a sentence with 'I mean', as it is improper and informal English.
3.
Although essays in the first person are often effective, formal essays are seldomly written in first person. Instead of writing, 'I also don't believe in telling a home owner what ...', you can write, 'It is not appropriate to tell a home owner what ...'. As this is an argument essay, you want to make declarative statements, and be sure to decisively state your opinion.
Overall Comments
Overall, a good essay, but having a more concise focus for each of the paragraphs would greatly improve the score.
There are only small errors in this essay which prevent it from receiving top marks. There are ample ideas that are presented, but it would be better if only a few of those ideas were selected and then expanded upon in more detail. Overall, a good essay..................